The subject of this post was not that which I had intended publishing this morning; but, that forthcoming topic will have to await another day, and most certainly follow, likely being sometime over the coming weekend.
A reader recently tasked me specifically about my Profile's last line.
His concern being that my now having apparently entered the realm of Political Activism, detractors could well attempt to discredit me, and my thoughts, based upon such overt expressions of my sexuality.
Well folks, let me call like it is. I AM A "BAD BOY". In another time and another place I might have been called a rake or a libertine or worse. I have always been a bad boy, and that is not likely at this juncture to ever change. Too, what is not likely to ever change is my abhorrence of our society's prevailing practice of exclusion rather than that of inclusion and of our continuing its' fulsome acceptance of abuse to persons whether that be physical or psychological and of privilege or position. Let me iterate, for the record, in my World, "Equal mean just that, Equal". There can never be anyone of us who is more, or less, equal than any other. Similarly, "Abuse is Abuse" regardless of its' guise or motivations. Bullying is just one of the many forms that abuse may take, although it would appear presently to be its' most contentious.
My Profile, as stated here, is a much watered down version of that which appears elsewhere in venues typically suited to more explicit detail. I am not about to hastily sanitize those others for the sake of Political expediency, and palatability. I am simply what I am. I am overtly lascivious and by no stretch of the imagination, asexual. I have never been otherwise. I vigorously enjoy the company and pleasures of those who are like minded. I make no excuses for it. I am edgy and I attract those similarly inclined; but, I am responsible in the conduct of my affairs. I believe in full disclosure; but, not in censure, excepting when behaviour infringes upon the equality and dignity, or life and liberty of others and thence their overall well-being and their capability to be whoever they chose to be. No-one has ever been abused at my hand, nor have I ever allowed any other within my sphere of influence to behave otherwise, either inside or outside of my home. At one and the same time, and above all else, I am a gentleman and apparently viewed as being a kind and gracious host who is companionable, amiable and eminently worthy of the ardent attention of those who choose to grace my bed. I have lived my life according to two maxims laid down to me by my paternal grand mother. At the tender age of eight, or thereabouts, she apprised me of the first, soberly dictating that although we are not destined to ever be of this World for any long spell, whilst we're here we damn well better make a good time of it; moreover, in the second, she added somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that if and when you're the treasure, you should always await being hunted. I've never forgotten, governed myself suitably and have long since passed those sage words of wisdom on to my own children.
I have four rules, and only four, regarding all conduct in my home; these being that all who cross the thresh-hold upon first entry undertake to behave respectfully to all, or any, other they encounter whilst in my home. In addition, they are cautioned that anything they either see, or hear, whilst in my home is never to be repeated once outside of my home. Moreover, what is found in my home, if it does not belong to them, remains in my home. Lastly, all who enter are told any assumptions made regarding the perceived sexuality of any other they encounter in my home is, just as often as not, likely to be wrong, and therefore all judgment is to be suspended for the duration of their stay, and their ability to return depends on their behaving accordingly. Transgression of any one of the four will deny them any future admittance to my home. There can be no, and never has been any, appeal. All, regardless of their creed, their age, their gender or sexuality, their religion, their politics and their position have been made welcome in my home, subject to their abiding by the aforementioned rules. All are treated equally, and with respect and dignity, with abuse never tolerated. My home is, and has always been, a safe haven to all who have entered; this not-with-standing whatever image I may have however purposefully cultivated when outside of it. From the stand point of my World, and how I have chosen to live in that World for the past 50-odd years, inequality and abuse is simply not acceptable. Period. That is what this Blog is all about. You're being granted a glimpse behind the curtain of how this bad boy views the World around him, and why I believe what I believe through the manner in which I have chosen to strut my stuff on that boulevard of broken dreams called the vita loca. My way has not always been the way of others. I would not have reasonably expected it to be otherwise. Whilst I have never, ever, stood in judgment of others and their own chosen paths, I, on the other hand have never, ever, tolerated any other standing in judgment of me and my own.
Joseph Couture, a Canadian Journalist of some note, wrote recently of the drug and alcohol fueled culture of excess and non-accountability found within the gay community. Sadly, I cannot disagree with him; but, I on the other hand see it not otherwise within the stratum of heterosexual behaviour either. Back in the day, when I was the ubiquitous bar-fly, dance palace fixture and steam-bath aficionado, it troubled me no end to view others of my circle pouring booze and drugs down the throats of those destined, and however intended, to line their beds. Unfortunately, it was then no different in that other World. I suspect that it is no different 40-years later either, regardless of their being either gay or straight venues. Joseph too suggests, and I can't for the life of me disagree on this score either, that this culture of drugs and alcohol is largely driven by (and in some instances drives) diminished self-worth, perceived and otherwise, and may very well account for our sexual excesses and extremes within the North American gay scene. Again, to some degree, this may very well be true; but, not always. Whilst I may not have ever had any choice about my being a homosexual, I did have a choice about whether I would marry, have the requisite three children, the mortgage on that bungalow in suburbia, the right car in the driveway and be a paragon of virtue in the neighbouring community. Too, I had a choice about whether I would be one of them pouring booze and drugs down the throats of those with which I had became enamoured. My not choosing that path may well have been largely dictated by my nascent fear of hereditary alcoholism which pervades generations of my family; something with which I've since learned I've not been afflicted, whereas my elder brother most certainly was. Too, it may also simply have been that whatever powers my personal sense of moral and fiduciary responsibility could not allow me to behave in such a manner. The latter not withstanding, my consensual sexual exploits have always been, and will continue to be, undertaken with great enthusiasm, verve and gusto. The operative word here being, consensual; neither one or the other of us being more or less equal to the other in its' undertaking; nor, one or the other of us subject to abusive conduct.
On a final note, I came out of the closet in "fire-engine red diapers" and I've been knee-deep in heels, satin and sequins or Doc Martin's, leather and chains or Kodiak's, jeans and plaid shirts or sneakers, shorts and tank-T's and a myriad others too; whichever, and whatever, the situation or circumstance may have at that time dictated. I will not change, not now, nor would I have ever before, for anyone. I am circumcised. I have no tattoos or piercings or other distinguishing marks. I am a certified cum- and fuck-puppy. I do lust after green-eyed, red-haired, uncircumcised "bad boys". I make no apologies for any of that.
Too, I have not, and will never, waivure in holding firm to my belief in there being only one route to fairness and justice and equality for all, with that being the principle of inclusion, not exclusion; nor have I, or will I ever, move one iota from my posture regarding abuse. I can not, and will not, apologies for that.
I am what I am, and this is what I am, and I make no apologies for that. Not ever.
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada
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